Weddings are one of the most significant and perhaps the biggest events of a couple’s life. They can be equally as chaotic; it comes with the territory of a life changing party! While timelines provide necessary structure to keep weddings on track, schedules can be tight, causing couples to be pressed for time doing what really matters. The key is where and how you give yourself the time.
The question to consider here is What really matters to you? What is YOUR wedding all about? Weddings are meant to celebrate your love and mutual life commitment to one another. Some chose to go big and celebrate with all their loved ones who have seen them through the thick and thin of life; those who have shaped you into the phenomenal person you are as you take your wedding vows. Guests travel near and even from afar to be with you and celebrate the love you share with your special One. TOO commonly though, traditional timelines cause couples to hardly have a chance to enjoy their first meal in wedded bliss, let alone take time to be with their guests. Interactions can be so brief and it’s just sad!
Whatever the size of your wedding, if you have guests, I’m guessing that being with them is a big priority to you! Quality time with them should be prioritized equally when planning your wedding, but it does take a little hacking to pull off, which is what I want to talk about here and help you do! Any preconceived notions about weddings you may have, set them aside. You do not have to follow any classic timelines, in fact, YOU are the master of your plans for your dream wedding. In this day and age, more couples, vendors, and venues are branching out in new ways than ever before. Let’s explore how you can have more fun with your guests and each other during the most splendid party of your life!
Why you want a Non-Traditional Wedding Timeline
I thought we should take a look at what the traditional timeline looks like and why it’s a bit broken when it comes to utilizing it for your own wedding. You’ve got to consider your priorities with your day and determine if taking “the way we’ve always done it” approach is right for you. You must remember, there is NO right or wrong way to plan and organize your wedding!
Traditional American weddings typically follow this kind of frame:
Partners get ready separately and don’t see each other
Guests arrive while one or both partners are hidden away
A ceremony begins, the couple finally sees each other while walking down the aisle
The ceremony is immediately followed by group photos of the family and wedding party
The couple takes a few minutes of photos alone together
By this point, cocktail hour is over and it’s time for dinner.
The couple either eats, or tries to talk to guests while they eat – usually they don’t have time for both
Toasts begin
The cake is cut
First dances happen
The dance floor opens and at this point, many of the guests begin to leave.
There is great room for improvement here, particularly if spending time with your guests and each other, enjoying your food, and your own party is a goal for your day. Notice how this kind of layout, which MANY couples do still follow, doesn’t have much room for guest interaction or time together enjoying the party? It’s time to consider breaking away from this old flow to create a timeline that allows time and space for you to do what you want to do with whom you would like to do it with!
My heart’s desire for you is that you would go into your wedding day in full confidence that it truly reflects you both and your relationship accurately, and that it was the best time of your life to date! We know things don’t go perfectly, but weddings are an incredibly vulnerable time for couples and my goal is to empower you to make your own decisions without any pressure to plan it a certain way. This is your chance to celebrate who you both are with those who are dearest to you.
FIRSTLY, determine what is most important to you, then we will deconstruct a timeline around that. Do you want more social time with your guests, more dining time with them sharing a meal, more time to party, or do you want more quiet time with your Love? Follow your heart and together, decide what is most important to you both. Here are some ways you can reconstruct your Wedding day to put your time where it matters most to you.
Start off on the right foot
Be intentional about how you start your wedding day. Starting off with some alone time together is so romantic! If it’s within your boundaries, spend the night before together! Meet or go for a walk, talk, have some coffee together, whatever you like to do. This is a beautiful time to share letters to one another. Make a grand-slam breakfast. Your wedding day doesn’t have to begin with your wedding party jumping on your bed to wake you up with countless others in your face getting you ready. You CAN start the day together quietly before going separate ways to get ready with all the excitement of your friends.
Get ready together
Okay, you don’t have to get into it… unless you want to! Getting ready together, even if you’re dressing in separate rooms and delaying your first look until you’re done, gives you some time to chat and laugh off your nerves before you face the music. You could even keep it super private and do this in lieu of a first look or make it your intimate first look... And hey… maybe it IS your first look…what a way to spice things up and give a teaser for your wedding night! If you’re not into that, consider even getting ready by yourself, especially if you’re an introvert and having people watching you get ready makes you stressed out.
Share a First Look!!!
I’ve done an entire blog post all about this… I can’t stress enough (no pun intended, really… no pressure) how incredible this can be for taking the stress (yes, really!) off of you both for the rest of your day. Read my entry to learn why a First Look really is an amazing opportunity. I have NEVER ever had a couple regret Sharing A First Look but rather thank me for recommending/advising they do it. I would say this may be the most important timeline event to consider. First Looks are beneficial and ALWAYS something that I highly recommend!
Take Your Photos Earlier in the Day
Group photos don’t seem to be those everyone is looking forward to, yet everyone loves having them and looking at them, go figure. These can take some time and aren’t particularly fun closer to the end of the day when some might already be a little tipsy. Okay, speaking for myself here too. This works best if you do a first look and already have photos alone with your partner. Get them done early when everyone looks great, you have more time later to enjoy your guests and the festivities. This also leaves the cocktail hour (usually when the couple and family/wedding party slip away for photos) open for some wonderfully candid shots! If natural, unstructured photos of you and your guests is what you desire, then you actually need time and opportunity to interact and mingle. Cocktail hour is perfect for this rather than dinner/meal time when people typically don’t like a camera in their food-stuffed face (I don’t blame them!). If cocktail hour isn’t your thing, check out this entry for some other fun ideas!
Greet Your Guests Rather Than Hiding Away
This is one of the greatest hacks in my opinion! Having a grand reveal does cost time with guests and the “big reveal” is so brief. Greeting them as they come in takes the big show pressure off of you and opens up valuable time for you with your guests and your partner, especially if you don’t like to be the center of attention and it makes you uncomfortable. What a way to make them feel special as well! Guests usually trickle in, allowing you time to start the celebration with one-on-one, face-to-face interaction with each guest! If a few need to head out early, they’ve had a special moment with you and won’t miss out. Guests can admire you and shower you in compliments up close rather than from afar and perhaps this is a great time to have some cocktails or a non-alcoholic beverage bar for everyone to enjoy while they mingle pre-ceremony. Doesn’t that all sound amazing?!
Chose Different Ceremony Timing
Why are ceremonies always first?! Do you know or is it just the way we do it? Well let me tell you, it doesn’t have to be! Ceremonies are perhaps the most nerve-wracking part of the day so consider working up to it instead. As suggested previously, you can have your cocktail hour followed by a meal, then have your ceremony! Follow that up with your party because… your photos are all done! The options are limitless! Do some investigative thinking and decide what sounds super fun for you. Do inform your guests on your invites so they know what to expect!
Strategically Cut Your Costs
8-10 hours or even more may sound like a lot of time for a wedding, but you would be so surprised how quickly it fades and how rushed you will be, especially if you have an allotted time at a venue. When you look back on your wedding, you will remember the time you had rather than the decor and mere stuff you had around you. Consider a breathtaking venue and minimize the stuff you need to decorate and entertain it so you can enjoy more of your time. People and the time you have with them is priceless, so consider cutting the costs where it can actually be cut.
Budget some Extra Time
Let’s face it, weddings hardly ever stay on schedule, even in a rush. Give yourself some extra time with each allotment for transition to the next. You will likely need it, but if you don’t, it’s time you have to mingle, take a breather, and maybe snap some extra spontaneous photos!
Cocktail Hour is underrated
Have I mentioned the cocktail hour enough?! Because it really is underrated! It isn’t a time filler for couples to run off for photos and keep guests entertained. It has been in the past… but it really is quality time and an icebreaker for guests and couples alike to get into the party spirit. Its one of the best opportunities to get some conversation in with guests while enjoying some delicious drinks. What could be better?! Perhaps the option of having two cocktail hours? That’s right, why not have a meet and greet “bar” to start off the celebration and one later to refresh your guests through the late night dancing?
Consider your Meal Options
One of the biggest factors that impacts your timeline is your meal choice. There are so many options when it comes to meal options at weddings, but the primary styles include buffet, family style, plated meals, and one of my favorites, food trucks.
Buffets: Cheaper, but you end up with slow-moving lines and a less communal form of dining due to the pace. Those in the front of the line will be done before others even begin, which requires more time allotment for mealtime. It does give you the chance to walk around and greet guests while they are dining, granted you eat first.
Family Style: Can be a little more spendy and difficult to execute with a larger guest count, however, guests are self served with less of a line (less time!) and conversations are more opportunistic when everyone is together. This style doesn’t allow for much chat-time while dining though between you and your guests.
Plated Meals: Likely the most expensive as it involves servers and a lot of them, as well as multiple courses which can take a long time. Choosing a meal can be tricky to please and guests won’t have many options. It does offer communal dining and less time with minimal courses.
Food Trucks: Fun, casual, and more picnic style, this option offers a whole lot of fun for everyone and is typically cheaper. It is less communal, but people are free to mingle together and choose their food options. This is a great option for smaller weddings, but can get time consuming with larger guest attendance.
Change up the Traditions
Give the traditions your own spin! My whole point here is to inspire you to make your wedding exactly what you envision it to be. Don’t like dancing? Let your guests take the first dance and enjoy watching. You don’t have to toss a garter or flowers, pass them out to each of your ladies or gift it in honor of your mother or other cherished guest. You don’t have to take the cake, have pie or an ice cream bar! Think about what you want and who will be at your wedding, and how you want to best honor and celebrate with them. Take the traditions, leave them, or change them and make your own! You will be sure to be remembered in a positive and exciting manner. You do what suits you!
Take Leave of an Exit
Who said you need a sparkler or rice-throwing exit? Waving fire around at the end of the night after your guests have had (potentially) a lot to drink might not be your idea of a fun exit. Bubbles, silly string, streamers, whatever the object for the charade may be for many, it really isn’t necessary. You can let the evening quiet down as you share memories and laughs with long-standing guests and give cherished hugs as guests depart. If you want some amazing exit photos and the experience, consider bubbles, environmentally-friendly confetti or even flower petals (every lady has a chance to be a flower girl!) but change up the timing. Give each guest your tossing object of choice as they seat for your ceremony. Opt to have your “exit” when you leave the altar instead! No time wasted there and your guests are already lined up for it, no wrangling anyone and all guests can be a part in it.
With a head spinning full of ideas, let’s take a look at a sample timeline:
8am Couple Shares Breakfast & Morning Walk
10am Couple Gets Ready Together! (That’s right, your future hubby is the one helping you into your gown and you are the lady that gets to straighten his bowtie, etc.)
11am Hand Write Your Vows (Getting ready photos can be the most beneficial part of your day. There is a feeling of excitement and anxiousness here filled with emotion that is BEAUTIFUL to document)
12pm First Look + Read Your Private Vows/Love Letters
2pm Wedding Party Pictures Begin
-Bride w/Bridesmaids
-Groom w/Groomsmen
2:45pm Family Pictures Begin
3:30pm Pre-Ceremony Cocktail Hour, Greet Your Guests as They Arrive! (Nothing could mean more than to greet your guests personally as they arrive)
4:30pm Ceremony Begins
4:55pm First Kiss (Guests Throw Rose Petals, Confetti, etc)
5pm Couple Share Private Moment (soak in the moment that you two just committed your lives together)
5:20pm Newlyweds Grand Entrance
5:30pm Dinner Begins
5:45pm Toasts Begin
6:15pm Couple Golden Hour Pictures
6:45pm Couple’s First Dance
6:50pm Daddy Daughter Dance
6:55pm Mother Son Dance
7pm Open Dance (Go CRAZY and have some funnnnn!)
There is a LOT to consider and unpack here, but I hope this was helpful in your endeavor to create your dream wedding and inspires you to have the confidence to go for it! You really have so much freedom in designing YOUR wedding day timeline.
If you decide to work with me, I’ll be with you every step of the way to aid you in personalizing your timeline to prioritize what matters most to you. No two weddings are the same and each couple is so wonderfully and wildly unique!
Get in touch with me about creating just the kind of wedding you’ve been dreaming of. Check out my pricing and info page to learn about my wedding collections and what you can expect when you create with me.
